The large majority of my friends, ranging from millennials to
seniors, are single whether never-married, divorced, or widowed. Not all, but
most. Some of the reason is probably the tendency for married people to hang
out with other married people and thereby select themselves out of the mix, but
that doesn’t account for all of it. A lot of the reason is simply that there
are more single adults than there used to be.
When I was a kid, nearly all of my parents’ friends at
picnics and parties were married. I use the word “nearly” because there might
have been an exception, but right now I can’t think of one. I didn’t think much
about it back then. Marriage just seemed to be something that happened to
adults like dry skin and worsening vision: as inevitable as birthdays
themselves. This wasn’t true, of course. There always have been advocates for and
practitioners of the single life in all times and places. Note the 1942 Kay
Kyser hit Jingle
Jangle Jingle. A century earlier Charles Darwin waveringly
contemplated the costs and benefits of marriage, weighing "terrible
loss of time" and "less money for books" against a
"constant companion and a friend in old age ... better than a dog
anyhow." (Charles decided against the dog and married his cousin Emma.) In
1872 Victoria Woodhull ran for President of the United States in part on an
anti-marriage Free Love platform: “to
change that love every day if I please, and with that right neither you nor any
law you can frame have any right to interfere." (This wasn’t a vote-winner
in 1872.) Sumerian proverb etched in a 4000-year-old clay tablet: “Marriage for
pleasure, divorce to regain it.” In the 20 years after World War 2,
however, it was as close to being true as it ever has been before or since.
The
current median age for first marriage (for those who get married at all) is 29
for men and 28 for women. In 1960 the median age for first marriage in the U.S.
was 22 for men and 20 for women, meaning almost half the brides were teenagers.
In 1960 72% of those between 18 and 35 years old were married with the bulk of
the singles at the lowest end of that range. Today according to the Pew
Research Center 61% of Americans 18 to 35 are “unpartnered”; the study includes
unmarried couples as “partnered,” which means most younger people don’t become
couples with or without the formality of marriage. Many never will. For the
first time since records have been kept a majority of all adults are single. There
is one segment of the population that so far still features ample ambulation
down the aisle: marriage rates are holding up surprisingly well for those in
the top 20% income level – the group that dominates the culture and the
traditional media. They have fallen off a cliff for everyone else. The birth
rate is way down, too. In the top 20% income level the majority of births are still
to married couples. In the rest of the population they are not, but across the
board the fertility rate is down to 1.7. The replacement rate is 2.1, so the
population would decline were it not for immigration. In several of the
advanced nations in Europe and Asia the populations are already declining.
(Global population continues to rise however with the poorest nations growing
the fastest.)
There
are endless articles on the subject in newspapers, popular magazines, journals,
and publications such as Psychology Today. Predictably, most contain
spin for one side or other of the gender war, which, like all aspects of life that
are remotely political, has grown more choleric in recent years. Authors with
opposite spins (overwhelmingly members of that upper 20% either way, one must
remember) tend to agree the fading of marriage is a problem however. I’m not so
sure that it is. Single parenthood is extra hard to be sure both for the parent
and the child, but that is a separate issue from singlehood per se.
The
numbers do, however, bring to mind a series of experiments that got quite a bit
of news coverage and commentary when I was in high school and college. Every now
and then a spate of articles still will appear about them, but they don’t get
the traction they did 50 years ago when folks worried more about overpopulation
than they do today, even though there are 120,000,000 more people in the U.S.
now than there were then.
Dr.
John Bumpass Calhoun of the NIH originally studied rats for insights about
rodent control in cities, but his studies eventually led him in a different
direction. In 1947 his efforts to breed rats on a quarter acre seemed to hit a
natural limit when the population hit 150. Despite plentiful food and ideal
living conditions they started acting strangely and stopped breeding after
reaching that number. Repeating the experiment produced the same result. With
support from the NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health) in the 1950s he
built ever larger and more elaborate rat utopias, again with the same result:
the population would soar, level off at well below an enclosure’s capacity, and
then crash despite abundant food and resources for the rats. Shortly before and
during the crash, the rodents exhibited bizarre and unsocial behaviors, which
he dubbed a behavioral sink. In the 1960s he switched from rats to mice for practical
reasons including their smaller size and short life cycles (they live about 2
years and can have 10 litters per year), but the results were the same as with
the rats.
Universe 25 |
The
most elaborate mouse facility was “Universe 25” in 1968: a mouse utopia abounding
with tunnels, nests, and nesting materials. There were ideal temperatures, plentiful
food for all, and no predators. Universe 25 should have been able to accommodate
3000 mice easily, but it never got there. From a handful of breeding pairs the
population doubled every 55 days in the “exploit period” until it reached 620
on day 315. The birthrate then began a long decline though at this point it
still exceeded the replacement rate. Apparently stressed by the inescapable presence
of other mice (again, there was no shortage of food or resources), the mice acted
ever more oddly as the population grew. They crowded in some nests while
leaving others nearly empty. The females grew aggressive (even toward their own
young) while the males became either passive or violent. There were bursts of hypersexuality.
By day 560 a generation of mice that hadn’t experienced normal murine
upbringing showed diminished interest in mating, competing, or raising young. A
few showed enough energy to take possession of some upper nests (mouse
penthouses) exclusively for themselves and a few of their favorites – Calhoun
dubbed them the “beautiful ones” – but they didn’t reproduce much and avoided
interactions with the common mice. Population peaked at 2,200 on day 920. Mouse
social behavior by then had become weirdly detached for the most part, but there
were outbursts of extreme violence unrelated to the usual competition for
status and mates. There even was occasional cannibalism. The birthrate plunged
below replacement level and the population began to fall. The birthrate kept
falling even when population dropped back below 620; once the social decay set
in, it was irreversible. The last baby mouse was born in 1973. The remaining
population grew old and died to the last mouse. Every similar experiment ended
exactly the same way with 100% mortality.
Calhoun
wasn’t shy about suggesting parallels to human societies. To the rejoinder that
we aren’t mice, he would answer that in many ways we kind-of are. (See Death Squared: The Explosive Growth and
Demise of a Mouse Population [1973] by John Calhoun, which begins “I shall
largely speak of mice, but my thoughts are on man.”) However we rationalize our
behavior with ideology and philosophy, he suggests, our responses actually may
be rooted in biology as much as they are for the rodents. In addition to just
the stresses of crowding, he comments, part of the problem for the rodents was
precisely the lack of struggle for resources that keeps urban street rats in
their brutal environments socially healthy and relentlessly fecund.
Was
he right? If so, are the resource-rich nations on day 315 or even 920? I don’t
know. But I’m happy being a childless single even if that’s a rationalization
and even though I don’t qualify as a “beautiful one” in a penthouse.
Maria Muldaur – Ain’t Gonna Marry
Dr. Bumpass Calhoun? His parents had a morbid sense of humor. I don't know either how closely we can compare rat behavior to human behavior either although it certainly feels like a rat race at times.
ReplyDeleteIt is a colorful name.
DeleteIf it's not a race it's a maze.