Better Watch Out

Many of the superficial seasonal traditions – notably Christmas trees – were introduced into the United States by German immigrants in the 19^th century. One that didn’t catch on, however, was the myth of Krampus, the malevolent companion to Santa Claus. It is not clear why. There is certainly no aversion on these shores to scary stories. One need only look at the way Halloween took off far beyond its Celtic origins.  Santa himself has an ominous side. “You better watch out,” as the song warns us. Yet there is a difference between the prospect of getting a stocking full of coal (a threat often made but seldom implemented) for being naughty and the prospect of being beaten by birch sticks by a horned goat creature and then kidnapped.
 
BTW, 90 years ago my dad actually got a coal-filled stocking as a kid, either because my grandparents thought it would be amusing or because they were making a point. A toy tractor was also in the stocking which softened the effect somewhat. I still have the tractor.

To this day, although Krampus continues to be popular in Germany and Austria, most Americans still don’t know who he is. A fair minority does however. The stories began to get some traction starting 20 years ago, culminating in the 2015 Christmas-horror movie Krampus. Enough now know of him in the US to make Krampus-themed cards, tee shirts, ornaments, and games marketable. A quick look on Amazon will reveal a remarkable array of goods.

The origins of Krampus are far older than Santa Claus, who can be traced to Nicholas, the third century Anatolian saint. Krampus pretty clearly derives from the half-human half-goat creatures (fairies, satyrs, fauns, and demigods) who predate even classical mythology. The best known version of the goat god is the mischievous Pan (cognate of the Rigvedic Pushan), who often was associated with Dionysus. Pan, like satyrs generally, represented the natural wild side of human nature, full of all its lusts. Accepting this side of ourselves was regarded as better than suppressing or denying it. He was generally worshipped in the wild or in caves, not in temples. In Athens on an Acropolis otherwise filled with ornate temples, there is simply a cave for Pan on the north slope. Today he is a major figure in modern Neopaganism including Wicca.
 
Over the centuries Church and political officials have made efforts to suppress Krampus mythology but without effect. He apparently is too much fun. Now he is too much a part of pop culture to go anywhere. There is a way to appease him. It is traditional to leave out milk and cookies for Santa. (This may account for his waistline.) Krampus, as one might expect, likes stronger fare. He prefers schnapps.
 
I don’t expect a visit from him this this year any more than I expect one from Santa. There are no kids in my household and neither takes much interest in adults. But in case I’m mistaken, if there is a choice between a birching from Krampus or coal from Santa, I’d rather have coal, especially if it comes with a tractor: John Deere preferably, with a full set of lawn care attachments.
 

Trailer for Krampus (2015)