Search Me

Carrie Fisher in her one-woman show Wishful Drinking warned about the dangers of Googling yourself “without a lubricant.” (I suggest a high proof bourbon for the lubricant.) Business oriented publications commonly recommend self-Googling for a variety of reasons including security and branding. It was an article in Forbes urging just this that prompted this blog. The article argues that it is good to know if something online is harmful to your reputation, whether it was posted by others or oneself (e.g. some ill-considered Mardi Gras photos). It is sometimes (though only sometimes) advisable to get those links removed if possible. This is not always possible if, for example, they are public records, but at least if we are aware of what a Google search reveals we’ll be prepared for questions that might arise at job interviews. Interviews are a major reason that self-Googling isn’t merely vanity: 80% of employers will use the search engine to check on you before making a hire. The first page results are key. Most casual searchers look no further. Very few look beyond page 5. If you have a common name it might be hard to tease out your own data from the results, which has both advantages and disadvantages. If you have an unusual name (such as mine) almost everything will be about you.
 
I took Forbes’ advice and peeked. These days (surprisingly) my first 5 pages are pretty innocuous. Most of the search results are links to my blog sites and books. There are a few links to relatives with the same last name. In the remainder there is substantial misinformation, but none that is worth getting in a snit about. Besides, clicking on a link increases the likelihood of it appearing higher on the next search, so sometimes it’s best to ignore misinformation or even besmirching references (letting them fade to the back pages over time) provided they aren’t doing serious damage to your current credit. A thick skin might not be fashionable in the 21^st century but it is still commendable.
 

Yet one’s Google footprint has an impact in more ways than money and employment. 71% of surveyed single Americans say they use the search engine to investigate a prospective date. Back in 1987 the movie Amazon Women on the Moon contained a collection of comedic skits held together by a parody of 1950s sci-fi movies. In one of the skits Rosanna Arquette before going out the door on a blind date asks the young man for two forms of ID; she runs them through an electronic device that gives her a readout on his dating history and all his faults. In 1987 this was a joke. In 2021 it’s expected. Whether or not any red flags that pop up in such a search are deserved, anyone in the dating market might want to self-check to see what others see (there’s a Robert Burns echo in there somewhere) and be ready to answer any obvious questions likely thereby to arise.
 
It accomplishes little and is probably not good for one’s psyche to search your online footprint obsessively however. Many people do. According to a Bank of America survey 5% of Baby Boomers, 9% of Millennials, and 11% of Gen Z Google themselves every day. Those might not seem like large percentages but the numbers jump when “every day” is replaced by “frequently.” 48% of Gen Z, 57% of Millennials, 45% of Gen Xers, and 37% of Baby Boomers answer Yes to “I Google myself frequently.” What is “frequently”? That is subjective, of course, but I suspect it’s a lot. Even in fully anonymous surveys people tend to understate how much they engage in activities that embarrass them, and frequent self-searches smack of narcissism. We know from alcohol tax receipts, for example, that Americans drink 50% more than they report on surveys. The statement “I like to have a couple of beers” is not likely literally to mean two. “Frequently” is not likely to mean quarterly or monthly.
 
Unless the results are directly affecting your finances and social life (the in-person kind, not the cyber kind) perhaps it’s best not to worry about them. Like worrying about what the neighbors think, there is not much profit in it. I’m no more free of vanity than the average person, however, so I understand why many folks do – especially young people who don’t remember a time before the internet and who spend more of their lives on it. I wouldn’t wish away the net had I the power to do so, but I’m glad the bulk of my life (the youthful part at that) was lived without it – and therefore with a presumption of privacy and anonymity.
 
"In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes," said Andy Warhol. (Like so many famous quotes, the authenticity of this one is disputed, but it has appeared in print since 1968 when he easily could have disowned it.) We are in Andy’s future, and (at least in well cyber-connected regions) everyone is indeed at least famous enough to have a worldwide presence on the net. It’s for more than 15 minutes though. Records of past missteps as well as successes live on stubbornly online for all to see. Google eyes are upon us for life – and beyond.

 

The Andrews Sisters - Barney Google