In Crowd

I wasn’t one of the In Crowd either in primary or secondary school. On the other hand I wasn’t an outcast either, so I experienced some of the typical childhood cruelty from social higher-ups but by no means caught the worst of it. (Status in school is not a matter of economic class, by the way, though that factor creeps in as teens age toward graduation; it’s more about looks, bravado, sports, charisma, and a few dozen other things.) So, my status was middling overall, but within my sub-clique I held my own. Why does any of that matter even a day past graduation? How can it possibly matter decades later? It shouldn’t, but it apparently does in ways we don’t always recognize.
 
For three decades after the World War 2 extensive research was conducted for the military on what contributes to making a good soldier and officer. Among the more curious results of studies on veterans of WW2, Korea, and Vietnam were the noted effects of their places in the social hierarchies of primary schools and high schools. Against expectation, the successful functioning of soldiers, both practically and psychologically, was strongly correlated to their popularity in school. Later studies on civilians show similar results. The effects go far beyond things of military interest. Says Mitch Prinstein in his article in The Guardian, “A worldwide study conducted in my own lab revealed that adults who have memories of being popular in childhood are the most likely to report that their marriages are happier, their work relationships are stronger, and they believe they are flourishing as members of society.”
 
People play status games as kids and as adults. They can’t help it and they never stop. But apparently we judge our success in them by the standard to which we became accustomed in school. This is not an inescapable trap. It is just a habitual pattern. The habit and pattern can be changed, but it may take some conscious effort.

An interesting and clearly written book on the subject is Status Games: Why We Play and How to Stop by Loretta Graziano Breuning. I met Dr. Breuning years ago when she was in NJ doing research at Rutgers where the papers of Robert Ardrey (The Territorial Imperative) are stored. She is founder of the Inner Mammal Institute, professor emerita, and former docent at the Oakland Zoo. I found her to be thoughtful and not much influenced by groupthink. She has written several other books on mammal behavior and neurochemicals. The title of this book is a little misleading: status-seeking is unavoidable as she makes clear in the text. Humans (like all mammals) are hardwired to play status games, but some games are toxic (such as undermining those who are doing better than us rather than improving ourselves) and others not. Humans at least can learn to recognize the harmful ones (even if we usually don’t) and consciously modify or end those practices. A lot of the book is about animal behavior though she always relates it back to people. It’s an unsentimental but interesting explanation of human and animal gamesmanship.
 
At present I’m satisfied enough with a middling status. But then again, that might just be a habit lingering from primary school.
 

The Mamas and the Papas – In Crowd