Academics have
a reputation for cluelessness about the “real” world. This is not always
deserved, but few things better contribute to the stereotype than expressions
of surprise by social scientists when their research reveals something utterly
self-evident to the rest of us. Case in point: In the abstract of their article
A
Cleansing Fire: Moral outrage alleviates guilt and buffers threats to one’s
moral identity
published in Motivation
and Emotion Zachary K. Rothschild Lucas A. Keefer write “we test the
counter-intuitive possibility that moral outrage at third-party transgressions
is sometimes a means of reducing guilt over one’s own moral failings and
restoring a moral identity.” Counter-intuitive? Their research, as anyone
outside academia could have told them, demonstrated that expressions of moral
outrage commonly are self-serving. So people engage in social posturing? The
hell you say!
Let us not
overlook research about whether alcohol – still the world’s favorite
mood-altering drug – really drowns sorrows. As reported in Livescience, “Harder and her
colleagues guessed that people would report less anger or sadness after
drinking, and more happiness a day after drinking. But the data showed the
opposite.” A day after drinking? A day after?
Of course they weren’t happy a day after. It’s called a hangover. Did these research people never drink? “Tomorrow” is the
last thing on the minds of drunks. Alcohol is all about the now. Drinkers,
sorrowful or otherwise, want to get high now, tomorrow be damned. And yes, drinking
does make them feel better – not always, but more often than not. That is why
people do it. It works while the buzz lasts, that is. Not the next day.
I’ve experienced both
effects. I don’t very often (anymore) because I really don’t handle the
day-afters as well as some people. This is something that was evident from my
very first hangover, which was in my college dorm. 18 was legal drinking age
back then, but by the standards of the day (or this day for that matter) that
was a late start. As I unsteadily rushed down the hallway toward the bathroom
while trying to hold back my stomach contents for the necessary distance, still
playing on the stereo in back of me in my room was (no kidding) Melanie’s Leftover Wine, a song I cannot hear to
this day without queasiness. Up until that moment, however, C2H6O
had been quite enjoyable. I wish I could say one such lesson was enough. It
wasn’t. “Enough” eventually did arrive in my life, but even now I see sense in
Raymond Chandler’s opinion, “I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a
year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.”
equinox party |
Besides, not everyone’s
cost/benefit ledger is the same as mine. Winston Churchill: “I have taken more
out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” Even if you’re not trying to
win a war but just trying to distract oneself for an evening, the substance can
have value. At an equinox party at the house last week, a majority of the 15
guests found value in it, and surely would have left early without it – or not
arrived in the first place. (Yes, driving arrangements were appropriate.) Were
they happy the next day? Well, that really wasn’t the point.
There are plenty of other
surprises in the journals. Many social scientists are taken aback by evidence
that in speed dating trials people (in the words of the Telegraph) “behave like stereotypical Neanderthals.” Regardless of what participants claim they want in a mate when filling out questionnaires (most give
very PC answers, which is to say they engage in social posturing), in practice typically
women still prefer men to be rich and men still prefer women to be pretty. (See
http://www.pnas.org/content/104/38/15011.full.)
What? Can this truly be? No, of course that’s not all they want in their mates,
but as said Marilyn Monroe in Gentlemen
Prefer Blondes, “my goodness, doesn't it help?”
There is entertainment to be found in witnessing all this scholarly
bafflement, of course. I’m eager to read reports by astonished researchers that
most kids prefer pizza to kale.
The Speakeasy Three - When I Get Low, I Get High