Cold Comfort

Ebola is far from the first disease to be politicized. Venereal diseases in particular invite political grandstanding, which for centuries has been one of the infections’ nastier side effects. My degree is in history and classical humanities, so I have no expertise and no opinion in the current debate about what quarantine standards should or should not exist for those in contact with Ebola patients – other than the opinion that, as in other politicized matters, too many folks with opposing views are ungenerous when describing each other.

However, the talk of quarantine touched something in a dusty corner of my memory. Some readers might be familiar with former NASA scientist Randall Munroe. On his website What If Munroe gives serious scientific answers to even the most absurd questions. Examples: How long could I swim in a pool of spent uranium fuel rods without it being fatal? (Answer: As long as you can swim without tiring and drowning. Water is great at absorbing radiation which is why spent fuel rods are stored in deep pools of water. So, unless you dive down right next to the rods you’ll be fine; near the surface you’ll actually be partially protected from normal background radiation and so will receive a lower dose than if standing in open air. Munroe notes that a bigger risk is getting shot by a security guard.) What if everyone in the world aimed a hand-held laser pointer at the moon? (Answer: nothing visible.) He backs up the answers with appropriate data. One old question involved quarantines.

One reader asked, “If everybody on the planet stayed away from each other for a couple of weeks, wouldn’t the common cold be wiped out?” Answer: Maybe, but probably not. Diseases rely on the chain of infection. If, on average, each person with a cold does not infect at least one other person, that particular rhinovirus will fade away. Rhinoviruses are completely eliminated by a healthy person’s immune system within two weeks. Ah, you caught that qualifier. That’s where the “probably not” comes in. We don’t all have healthy immune systems. It is almost certain that cold viruses would survive far longer than two weeks in some people – also in some animals since not all infectious diseases are species-specific. From that remaining pool there is every likelihood that colds would spread out again. Then there are the practical problems of a universal quarantine. Some people absolutely must go to work – and interact with others while there – in order to keep modern civilization from collapse. How long would the electric power grid, for example, last without intervention? I suppose essential workers in principle could isolate themselves by wearing hazmat suits, but I wouldn’t count on compliance.

On the other hand, for reasons having nothing to do with disease control, the proposal to avoid other people for two weeks has a decidedly pleasant sound to it. Maybe we’d all be a little less cranky with each other after such a two week vacation.