Ursine Grunts

Except for a few years in my 40s, I've been a bachelor all my life, a fact probably deduced even by casual visitors to my house or office.

Rita Rudner: "Men don't live like human beings. They live like bears with furniture."

I'm not as bad as all that, but no one would mistake my home for Martha Stewart's.

I'm accustomed not only to rumpled attire and surroundings, but to privacy. My happiest romantic liaison was with a young lady who retained her own residence in Mineola. This is about 1.5 hours away, if traffic doesn't back up on the Cross Bronx Expressway. It was the right distance.

This is the new normal. Single households in the US are the majority of all ninety million households. Marriage – of any stripe – is now the “alternative” lifestyle. We’ll try to be tolerant.