Of those still above ground, one of my
go-to mystery/suspense authors for recreational reading is fellow New Jersey
native Harlan Coben. (South African author Deon Meyer is another.) Coben has a
formula for most of his novels: the comfy upper middle class suburban life of a
character (usually 35-45) is thrown into crisis by some grave threat – often
something reemerging from the protagonist’s past. It’s a formula that works
more often than not. I most recently read Stay
Close, which was adapted for a Netflix miniseries that I haven’t seen. The
usual elements are there, but with more nuance than Coben typically delivers,
and the book is better for it. Suburban soccer mom Megan doesn’t want to give
up her American Dream lifestyle or her husband. Yet, she has some humanly mixed
feelings about both. She still feels the draw of her old pre-marriage party
life as a stripper in Atlantic City (to the point of visiting the club incognito),
and she still has feelings for a paparazzo named Ray whom she knew at the time.
Both she and Ray are haunted by a secret from those days. A murder in Atlantic
City with an old familiar pattern threatens their secret and their lives.
Megan’s mixed feelings are what make her
more relatable than most Coben protagonists, who tend to be single-minded
defenders of their homes and families. Megan is a defender but is more complex
than that. She is suffering from a midlife crisis. Most of us above a certain
age know what that is like. (I certainly do.) Every stage of life has its own
characteristic challenges, but the midlife crisis (usually setting in near 40
and possibly lasting to as late as 60) accompanies the nadir of the well-known
happiness U-curve; on average, self-reported subjective feelings of happiness
and contentment are high at 20, decline to a low around 40, and then recover
after 60. The reader may have encountered articles purporting to debunk the
U-curve, but they tend either deliberately to ignore the term “subjective” or
to ignore the bell curve. Of course we are talking about the centerline of the
bell curve; there are always going to be cheery people and miserable people on
the tails in every age group, but the average still counts for something. The
self-reports remain and they still fit a U. The reasons for the midlife crisis are
numerous, but start with the recognition that youth has passed. This involves
not just the effects of physical aging but the understanding that doors are
closing: time is running out to make major changes in one’s life and career. Thoughts
of mortality come more to the fore, not least because many of us lose our
parents at this time – or at any rate witness them getting truly old. Kids grow
up and move out. Job changes (common these days) are more difficult.
Responsibilities (financial and otherwise) reach their peak. While not everyone
has existential crises (the “what’s it all about?” questions), many people do. Responses to all this are well-known and
the butt of some mockery. We may try (unsuccessfully) to look and act much younger
than we are. Single people may impulsively marry, likely inappropriately and to
someone younger. Married people may divorce “while there is still time.”
Clothes and cars get suddenly flashy. Substance abuse may worsen. You know the
drill. The good news is that the bottom of
U-curve gives nowhere to go but up. Those of us who get through this phase
without too much damage to ourselves probably will get happier, even if
objectively there doesn’t seem much reason. Health and strength may continue to
decline, but after a point we just don’t give a damn – or at least we give less
of one. Acceptance has much to recommend it.
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